Bob Ainsworth admits "I am a daft cunt"

Bob "the knob" Ainsworth blew TWO chances save couple held by pirates:Defence Secretary Bob Ainsworth let slip two opportunities to rescue a British couple kidnapped by Somali pirates.

Elite Royal Marine commandos were twice ready to launch a critical assault on the gang who had captured Paul Chandler, 59, and his wife Rachel, 55.

But each time Mr Ainsworth did not order the Royal Marines to move in. Nearly seven weeks later, the couple are still being held for a £4million ransom by the pirates.

In a statement Bob said "Look I am a cunt who has been promoted past my abilities. Anyway I have far more important things to do, like re-arranging the toy soldiers on my plush desk and fiddling my expenses claims."

"Besides if we shoot the pirates, we will be left open to being taken to court under the Human Rights Act. Hopefully we can find a way to bribe them via the back door, maybe give the poor darlings asylum in say Bradford or some northern town that is hideously white."....